Yes it’s hot out. In fact it’s been sweltering hot in Dallas since Memorial Day. Yet ever since the slowly moving right arm of the current heat monster enveloping practically all of the U.S. south has now slinked its way up the eastern seaboard, dropping our nation’s capital into yet another type of gridlock we call “CLIMATE SHOCK!”, we have been watching the reaction of the myriad news outlets reporting on the sudden weather change with a certain bit of bemusement.
And of course, obviously, the media has been predictably—and laughably—blustery with their pronouncements of late. Pressure cooker! Extreme heat! Heatmageddon! In 54 point red caps and bookended by rotating sirens!
So, back to Dallas, a quick perusal of the recent online status updates of friends in the area indicates business as usual—your normal number of “looking forward to the weekend, doing so-and-so can’t get any better than this”-type posts. However, checking up on my suddenly unlucky friends in the northeast and it appears that all hell has broken loose. “Booking flight to chilie [sic] ASAP!!!!!can’t take this heat anymore!”
And while most of us, are unwilling to go to extremes like my friend Mr. Chilie [sic], there are still a few places outside of the super-searing, life-threatening, amoeba of humidity and death, that we can safely seek refuge at, in these doggiest of all dog days. In fact, just to make it easier, I’ve made a handy list right after the jump, of North American destinations that are currently sitting at below their historic July average temperatures. And just to be fair to everyone, I’ve chosen cities that are easily accessible by those sitting in “extreme heat!” in the Midwest, South, as well as Northeast.
Home of the 78-minute summer. Yes you heard that correctly. This is the city that has only been above eighty degrees for a grand total of 78 minutes since May according to their local meteorologist Scott Sistek. But what Seattle fails to bring in terms of balmy summer warmth, it does bring in terms of rainfall. Lots of it in fact, with rainfall totals 4.55 inches above the average for the year thus far. There’s no better place in America right now to cool off, but be sure to pack an umbrella.
While the denizens of the Twin Cities, sitting at approximately the same latitude, have been getting steamed right out of their long johns, the lucky few in Bozeman, a couple states west, have been relaxing at a steady 75 degrees over the past week, a good 8 degrees below it’s historical average for July. With spectacular mountain vistas and a certain well known National Park just a short 45 minute drive away, there is no better time to cool down in the company of our nation’s finest natural formations, flora and wildlife.
Go south grasshopper. A concept clearly understood by my friend Mr. Chilie [sic] is that despite prevailing wisdom, it is possible to cool off by going south. But why go all the way down to Chilie [sic] when Guadalajara is just a short two hour plane ride for those of us smack dab in the middle of the heart of the heat cap of horror. Due to its 5200 ft altitude, Guadalajara typically has mild summers. But currently, Guadalajara has been enjoying 70-75 degree temperatures well below its 80 degree norm. With a thriving arts scene, the best historic downtown, and the best pozole preparation in all of Mexico, Guadalajara is an ideal off the beaten track, yet still accessible place to beat the heat.
It’s downright chilly these days in Paris. As in sixty degrees chilly. And while autumn temperatures in Paris are the stuff that dreams are made of, the closest we can get to those tingly old-world sensations here in North America are the slightly-above average temperatures currently being enjoyed in Canada’s francophone capital, Quebec City. Temperatures currently are just slightly above the summer average of 77 degrees, but for people like Mr. Chilie [sic], just being able to open a window in the historic city and hear the sweet language of romance effortlessly bouncing through the affable summer breeze is well worth the quick jaunt up from the baked concrete of the Northeast.